Pure Madnesson
News and politics from Madison, Wisconsin... with a twist. Everything contained herein is intended as satire. Please do not take it too seriously. It's pure madness! . Email Pure Madnesson at puremadnesson@yahoo.com.Archives
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Tuesday, February 14, 2006
Backwards Day
Mayor Dave Cieslewicz has officially declared February 15, 2006 "Backwards Day" in Madison. According to the mayor, "Everything will be turned upside-down and inside-out and backwards. It will be quite the exciting event!"
All eastbound lanes will run westbound and vice-versa. One way streets shall run the opposite way, and all vehicles must drive in reverse. Madison residents are urged to wear their clothing backwards in honor of the special day. Cars may use bike lanes, and bikes will take over the streets.
Elevators in all city owned buildings will be reprogrammed so the down buttons will take people up, and the up buttons will take people down. Restaurants will serve supper for breakfast and breakfast for supper. Lunch will stay the same since it's in the middle, but dessert will be served first. Businesses will open at closing time and close when it's time to open. Schools will hold last period first and first period last.
For one day only, Madisonians may smoke in the bars, but cigarettes will be prohibited outdoors. The minimum wage will be considered a maximum, no one being paid more than allowed. The homeless shall be housed, and the housed will sleep on the streets. The city will pay residents for the honor of collecting their garbage. All Madison Metro routes will be reversed for the day, and cars may park for free downtown. The police TEST team will patrol for those driving too slowly and ticket anyone driving under 75 mph.
On just this one day, Madison will be backwards. The mayor assures residents that the city shall continue moving forward again, beginning promptly at midnight on February 16th.
All eastbound lanes will run westbound and vice-versa. One way streets shall run the opposite way, and all vehicles must drive in reverse. Madison residents are urged to wear their clothing backwards in honor of the special day. Cars may use bike lanes, and bikes will take over the streets.
Elevators in all city owned buildings will be reprogrammed so the down buttons will take people up, and the up buttons will take people down. Restaurants will serve supper for breakfast and breakfast for supper. Lunch will stay the same since it's in the middle, but dessert will be served first. Businesses will open at closing time and close when it's time to open. Schools will hold last period first and first period last.
For one day only, Madisonians may smoke in the bars, but cigarettes will be prohibited outdoors. The minimum wage will be considered a maximum, no one being paid more than allowed. The homeless shall be housed, and the housed will sleep on the streets. The city will pay residents for the honor of collecting their garbage. All Madison Metro routes will be reversed for the day, and cars may park for free downtown. The police TEST team will patrol for those driving too slowly and ticket anyone driving under 75 mph.
On just this one day, Madison will be backwards. The mayor assures residents that the city shall continue moving forward again, beginning promptly at midnight on February 16th.
posted by Pure Madness<> # 11:20 PM 
