Pure Madnesson
News and politics from Madison, Wisconsin... with a twist. Everything contained herein is intended as satire. Please do not take it too seriously. It's pure madness! . Email Pure Madnesson at puremadnesson@yahoo.com.Archives
January 2006 February 2006 March 2006 April 2006 May 2006 January 2007
Monday, February 13, 2006
Madison Alderman to Open Meditation Center
Alderman Zach Brandon announced today that he will close his Laudry 101 business and open a meditation center in its Gilman Street location. The new center will be named Meditation 101 and will provide basic meditation courses as well as daily meditation sessions. Brandon eventually hopes to open a second center, Meditation 201, that will provide advanced courses for those looking to make their meditation more meaningful.
Brandon has decided to make this bold move after reviewing various meditation options available to City of Madion employees as part of the city's Employee Assistance Program. He explains, "The market for laundromats is dwindling around campus as students seem to care less and less about their appearance. On the other hand, there's a huge market out there for meditation. I'm changing my business plan to keep up with the times."
At first, Brandon was critical of the money the city spends on meditation programs for its employees. "I thought this was just a bunch of voo-doo new-age hippie-chick garbage. Then I went to one of the meditation sessions to check it out myself. Since then, I've been hooked." Ever since trying it for the first time, Brandon has been attending weekly meditation sessions offered by the city. Brandon claims that meditating for the first time was just like losing his virginity. "I resisted it for years because I didn't think I'd be any good at it. I finally gave it a try, and now I just can't get enough." Brandon admits that he's still not very good at it but hopes to get better with practice.
Meditation 101 will open in late March. In addition to meditation classes, the center will offer a full-service organic juice bar.
Brandon has decided to make this bold move after reviewing various meditation options available to City of Madion employees as part of the city's Employee Assistance Program. He explains, "The market for laundromats is dwindling around campus as students seem to care less and less about their appearance. On the other hand, there's a huge market out there for meditation. I'm changing my business plan to keep up with the times."
At first, Brandon was critical of the money the city spends on meditation programs for its employees. "I thought this was just a bunch of voo-doo new-age hippie-chick garbage. Then I went to one of the meditation sessions to check it out myself. Since then, I've been hooked." Ever since trying it for the first time, Brandon has been attending weekly meditation sessions offered by the city. Brandon claims that meditating for the first time was just like losing his virginity. "I resisted it for years because I didn't think I'd be any good at it. I finally gave it a try, and now I just can't get enough." Brandon admits that he's still not very good at it but hopes to get better with practice.
Meditation 101 will open in late March. In addition to meditation classes, the center will offer a full-service organic juice bar.
posted by Pure Madness<> # 11:49 PM 
