Pure Madnesson

At next Tuesday's City Council meeting, west side Alderman Jed Sanborn will introduce legislation to repeal Newton's First Law of Motion within the City of Madison. Currently, the law states that an object in motion will stay in motion and an object at rest will stay at rest unless sufficient force acts upon it. Sanborn claims that the law if flawed because it does not take friction into consideration.

"Newton's first law has been tried in other places, and it just doesn't work," says Sanborn. He cites application of the law in California as a miserable failure. Sanborn calls the law "idealistic" and based on false assumptions. "Newton may have had good intentions, but he didn't take friction into consideration when passed his first law of motion. No matter how you look at it, the law is a failure."

As a firm believer in freedom, Sanborn also claims that Newton's law is unnecessary regulation of motion. "This is also about basic rights. An object should be free not to remain at rest or remain at motion should it choose otherwise. It's time we stop regulating freedom."

This is Sanborn's fourth repeal attempt since being elected just under one year ago. Though his proposals to repeal Boyle's Law, Einstein's Law of Relativity, and the Pythagorean Theorem all failed to garner enough votes, he will continue to fight against laws he doesn't like.

Even if the repeal of Newton's First Law of Motion does not pass, Sanborn plans to introduce another repeal in upcoming months. "Next, I plan to work on repealing the Laws of Gravity. The sky is falling on Madison, and eliminating gravity is the only way to stop the damage."