Pure Madnesson
News and politics from Madison, Wisconsin... with a twist. Everything contained herein is intended as satire. Please do not take it too seriously. It's pure madness! . Email Pure Madnesson at puremadnesson@yahoo.com.Archives
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Wednesday, March 08, 2006
Mifflin Street Block Party Will Be Gas-Free
There will be no gas allowed on West Mifflin Street for about 20 hours during the last weekend in April. Last night, Madison's City Council approved a temporary gas-free zone to cover the the area of the Mifflin Street Block Party.
Alderman Mike Verveer sponsored the proposal after being urged to do so by residents of the neighborhood and the Madison Police Department. Verveer explains, "All of the beer consumed at the party results in a lot of gas among party attendees. Last year, neighbors as far as 5 blocks away were made sick from the smell."
The penalty for those partaking in flatulence at the party is a ticket for up to $250. Repeat offenders or those who refuse to stop passing gas could be fined up to $1000 or spend the night in jail. Verveer recognizes that the punishment may seem harsh but says it is necessary to keep neighbors and partygoers safe.
Madison Police Chief Noble Wray expresses relief that the gas-free zone won approval. According to Wray, "Last year a certain UW football player farted directly in an officer's face. Such behavior is simply unacceptable. I hope that the fines for passing gas will prevent a similar situation at this year's party." Wray says that officers patrolling the party will be equipped with gas masks, just in case.
Alderman Mike Verveer sponsored the proposal after being urged to do so by residents of the neighborhood and the Madison Police Department. Verveer explains, "All of the beer consumed at the party results in a lot of gas among party attendees. Last year, neighbors as far as 5 blocks away were made sick from the smell."
The penalty for those partaking in flatulence at the party is a ticket for up to $250. Repeat offenders or those who refuse to stop passing gas could be fined up to $1000 or spend the night in jail. Verveer recognizes that the punishment may seem harsh but says it is necessary to keep neighbors and partygoers safe.
Madison Police Chief Noble Wray expresses relief that the gas-free zone won approval. According to Wray, "Last year a certain UW football player farted directly in an officer's face. Such behavior is simply unacceptable. I hope that the fines for passing gas will prevent a similar situation at this year's party." Wray says that officers patrolling the party will be equipped with gas masks, just in case.
posted by Pure Madness<> # 11:50 PM 
