Pure Madnesson

After passing a resolution to allow an addition to the state required oath for elected and appointed city officials, many of Madison's elected officials became drunk with power and decided to add a few words of their own. The intent of the resolution was to allow electeds and appointees to protest the recently passed consitutional ban on same-sex marriage while still vowing to uphold the state constitution.

Some warned the city is heading down a slippery slope leaving the oath open to a multitude of supplemental addendums, but the city council did not buy it, passing the resolution with a strong majority of votes. Alder Jed Sanborn, one of only a few alders speaking out against the move, created an addendum of his own to protest the resolution. Other council members followed his lead, and the end result is a slew of personalized oaths taken during a special secret ceremony after Tuesday's Common Council meeting.

The oath of office states, "I will support the Constitution of the United States, the Constitution of the State of Wisconsin, and the Charter of the City of Madison, and will perform the duties..." So, what statements did Madison's elected officials add to their oaths of office?

District 1: Jed Sanborn - "And I pledge allegiance to the flag of the United States of America and to the republic for which it stands, one nation under god, indivisible with liberty and justice for all. And I will work for repeal of all laws passed post-1776."
District 2: Brenda Konkel - "I will also support and uphold the teachings of Jerry Garcia and his Grateful Dead band."
District 3: Lauren Cnare - "Mr. Mayor? What should I say?"
District 4: Mike Verveer - "And I will support the by-laws and obey the wishes of Downtown Madison, Incorporated."
District 5: Robbie Webber - "I pledge to work to change the constitution of the United States of America and will not give up until an amendment passes giving Americans the express right to ride a bicycle."
District 6: Judy Olson - "I also vow to support the rules and regulations of the Willy Street Coop."
District 7: Zach Brandon - "I take this oath under protest, as TABOR is not yet part of our state or federal constitutions. I will not rest until TABOR passes and tax payer protection is part of our most sacred law."
District 8: Austin King - "I will save the world. Really. And if not, maybe I'll be president some day."
District 9: Paul Skidmore - His words were too slurred to make any sense of them.
District 10: Ken Golden - "I support soup."
District 11: Tim Gruber - "I pledge to do what is right even when politically unpopular."
District 12: Brian Benford - "First, I'd like to thank everyone for the chance to add a few words to my oath. I really appreciate the opportunity to be here today with all of you. When I began this journey, I never thought an ordinary guy like myself would ever be able to take part in something like this..."
District 13: Isadore Knox - "I support nothing in particular."
District 14: Tim Bruer - "I promise to continue the time honored tradition of South Side Style."
District 15: Larry Palm - "I pledge my love to Zach Brandon."
District 16: Judy Compton - "Wait a minute. The State of Wisconsin has its own constitution? I didn't know that. Why does the state have its own constitution when we have a perfect good one for the whole country? I don't understand." (editor's note: Judy Compton continued for another 15 minutes without adding anything of substance to her statement.)
District 17: Santiago Rosas - Alder Rosas mysteriously disappeared before it was his turn to take the oath.
District 18: Paul Van Rooy - "Anyone want to tell me what to say?"
District 19: Noel Radomski - "I promise not to send any more crazy tirades via email to my colleagues. Should the mood strike, I will not allow myself to hit the send button."
District 20: Cindy Thomas - "I'll just share my New Year's resolutions since I don't believe in messing with the oath. I promise to do 100 leg lifts and 200 sit ups each and every day. I also resolve to switch from aerosol hairspray to more environmentally friendly alternatives when fixing my unmovable hair. Oh, and I'll do everything I can to rid my neighborhood of those 'undesirables' who seem to be taking over."

Last but not least, Mayor Dave Cieslewicz stood to take his oath. Upon completion of the oath, the mayor added, "I support trolleys, trolleys, and more trolleys. I will continue to fight until every street in Madison has its very own trolley line."